But Who's Counting?

I don't really think of myself as a romantic person; I tend to shy away from anything resembling what I call 'schmaltz'. Sure, I enjoy getting flowers, but the usual romantic overtures just leave me feeling...weird and icky.

That said, Matt & I...rather early on...got into the habit of celebrating various aspects of our relationship. Wedding, of course. But there's also the day I first flew to California to see him, the day I moved there permanently, and of course, the anniversary of when we first 'met'.

For those not in the know, Matt & I got together not through the machinations of scheming friends, or through the smoke-filled haze of some local hang out.

Nope. We met through an on-line dating service! My so-called digital life, indeed.

I'd recently ended a rather unpleasant relationship (he exhibited over half the signs of an {emotional} abuser), and had more-or-less given up on the guys in my hometown. For fun, or as I often tell it, 'a giggle', I signed up for a seven-day, free, trial to a dating service, spotted after sending an e-card to a friend. I figured, what the heck...what do I have to lose?

So, I filled out my info, sent it in and waited.

And waited.

Nothing. Not a single reply.

My already damaged self-esteem (see above) was in panic mode. Although I hadn't really taken the whole thing seriously, to be rejected when I wasn't even trying? Brutal.

Then, with (I believe) a day left on my free trial, I realized I'd been an idiot: I'd not made my profile public. I wasn't getting any hits (so I choose to believe) because No One Could Find Me.

Again, for fun, I did a search for guys fitting my criteria. The sixty+ dude who was clearly just looking for some young hot thing for a 'good time' always made me throw up a little...

But then, I saw Matt's profile.

To this day, I can't remember what it said. I know it was funny. It made me laugh out loud. He sounded great...funny, smart, a sense of humor I could appreciate.

Of course, we lived on opposite ends of the country, but I decided to email him, anyway. I gave him my 'real' address, as the trial was about to expire and I remembered how much I disliked dating, even virtually and therefore had no intention of paying for the privilege of rejection and/or unsuitable matches.

He wrote back quickly. There was no intention, whatsoever, of pursuing a 'dating' relationship, but it was clear we got each other. We're both quippy, with strong literary and pop-culture backgrounds. That can be dangerous. We loved food and cooking. There were so many reasons to continue getting to know each other, even while realizing it might be painful in the end. After all, we were thousands of miles apart.

It took less than four months for us to realize we were in love. We courted over the 'Net, via email. We spoke on the telephone once or twice. Finally, about eight months later, I flew out to celebrate his birthday. It was wonderful, and I hated the thought of leaving, sure I'd never see him again. He came to Pennsylvania for New Year's.

Three months later, I moved to California. Two years later, we were married. One year more, Alex was born.

And while we have many 'official' celebrations, i.e. wedding, Valentine's, and so on, for us, that cold & lonely day in January...the one that almost didn't happen...is most important of all.

To celebrate, I made Ina's Fillet of Beef au Poivre for Matt. I would have made the accompanying matchstick potatoes, but we decided it wasn't worth messing with the oil for one serving.
Instead, we used frozen fries and seasoned them with olive oil, salt, pepper and fresh rosemary. They smelled divine.

So, happy 9th 'meeting you' anniversary, Matt...not that I'm counting.