Dispensing Happiness

A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.-Elsa Schiapirelli

That's me, the magical good cook.

Borrowing from my friend Dexygus, I've created my own food blog.

Read of my exploits in the kitchen! Salivate over the descriptions of fabulous desserts and savory meals I've concocted!

No, seriously...go ahead. It'll make my day.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Food=Love; or How I found Validation in a Cookie


Mother's day has come and gone.

I can't say it's ever been a 'big' holiday for me, though.

My relationship with my own mother...well, the words that come to mind right off the bat are 'tumultuous' and 'contentious'.

I spent a large chunk of my life simply wondering if my own mother liked me. Later, I did everything I could to get on with her; trying so very hard to find those common denominators that would magically bring us together.

Maybe it's because I came along when she was still relatively young. Then again, my half-sisters were treated much better than I'd ever been, and as my husband points out, I quickly found myself in the role of second-class citizen in our family.

But seeing my friends with their moms...showing love and affection, and a general interest in their children's lives...my own parent's inability, or unwillingness, to do the same was rather obvious.

Never happened.

Two of my aunts, my mother's sisters, have commented that my mom cares more for her dogs than her own children.


Scary thing? It's pretty accurate.

I tell myself that after thirty-#(^)#(@_# years, I just don't care. I shouldn't need, or seek, her approval any more.

But despite those statements, I still find myself searching for a sign of 'good job', or 'well done' from her.

I don't expect it, which is why Saturday provided such a surprise.

I'd told my mom about my chocolate chip cookies. That I'd finally found that perfect combination of flavor and texture.

And since she was going to be visiting, I made a batch so she could try one.

We took a picnic lunch to a park, with the cookies serving as dessert. I handed one to my mom, just before she took off with Alex for the swing set.

Ten minutes later, I realized she was on her way back when I heard these words:

"That was the best chocolate chip cookie I've ever had"

Admittedly, I was in shock; but I think my reaction went something like this:

(fists clenched, arms in air) "Yes!"

This from a woman who's not just a chef, not just a pastry chef; but someone who's been involved in the food industry since the 1970's.

"Best I ever..." carries a bit more weight, yes?

And that's how I finally found validation, albeit in a cookie.

Blog Party#10 is this Saturday, and this month we're having a Garden Party! Cute little sandwiches, and that perfect cup of tea...won't you join us? Entries are due 18 May, this Thursday....can't wait to see you there!

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14 Thoughts for food:

At 12:33 PM, Blogger Arthi said...

Hey, where is the recipe for the best chocolate chip cookie ? The chocolate ganache cupcakes look great, recipe please.

At 4:02 PM, Blogger CameraDawktor said...

That's a great story! Good job! It probably took guts just to make that kind of a claim before you gave it to her.

And just a note here to encourage you. Even those of us who have "seemingly tight" relationships with their mom's still have hang-ups that you might not see on the surface.

Of course, maybe not as painful and obvious as yours, but problems none-the-less!

I could go on and on about that!

At 4:03 PM, Blogger CameraDawktor said...

Oh, and thanks for the honesty and the sharing of the personal life.


At 7:08 PM, Anonymous emily said...

Recipe,please!You can not post that and not give it out!lol

At 9:44 PM, Anonymous Tanna said...

I really find it beyond unfair to label a cookie the best ever and not give us the recipe. Nope, that's not right. I mean not even a clue; like is it some secret ingredient.
Mothers and daughters seem always to have some issues. The problem is now that mine is gone the only issue I have is I miss her and have so many things I wish I could ask her.
Enjoy the Best ever cookie moment every chance you can and go from there.

At 12:23 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Anthi...send a message to thehappysorceress at gmail dot com, and I'll get it to you.

At 12:25 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Cameradawtkor; thank you.

At 12:26 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Yeah...I don't do that often, but too much time with my family gets me in a 'grrrrrr' kind of mood!

At 12:26 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Emily? See above!

At 12:28 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Tanna...ditto! I'm not in the habit of posting recipes, but I'm always willing to share them one-on-one.

At 7:38 PM, Anonymous dexygus said...

hi stephanie,
i'm a bit late in the game here. it's been difficult keeping up with blogs lately. i just wanted to give you a big cyber-hug. thanks for baring your heart to us.

At 8:54 AM, Anonymous Indira said...

I wrote a comment few months ago about your relationship with mom, but after hitting the submit button, I felt very bad with the thoughts, perhaps I went too far, may be that was not what you are trying to convey.

I am so sorry to see you in pain, Stephanie. May be she'll come around in time.
Big hugs and lot of love from your loyal fan - Indira:)

At 12:06 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Dexygus; thank you! Cyber-hugs are always welcome! (real ones are even better, of course)

And I know what you mean; I have to get up early if I want to catch up with all my foodie friends.

And I don't like getting up early!!

At 12:09 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Indira, no worries. I'm in it, and even I can't fully understand my relationship with my Mom.

I have no hopes of her 'coming around'; she very cleverly forgets/ignores issues and problems. Little chance of resolving them, if you can't see the elephant in the room.

And again, thank you for the hugs!


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